In case you didn’t know – Winter Sucks!!!

I’m Canadian so I know

For those of you that don’t really experience winter as the cold, dark, snow and ice filled hell that Canadians know it to be.  Well lucky you.  You really don’t have a winter Season.  What you experience is more of an extended fall, or if you are truly blessed, a cool summer.  The Winters that I’ve experienced in my lifetime range from mild (below zero with light snow) to severe (an entire city frozen in ice without power).  It’s during this abhorrent time that I go from an active sports enthusiast to an out of shape couch commando.  I’ve wondered what kind of shape I would be in if I could just keep doing the things I love (golfing, fishing, walking the city) year round.  Of course there are the many winter sports that so many find enjoyable.  Obviously something terrible has had to have happened to each of them at some point in their lives.  Why else would they subject themselves to such torturous endeavours. Strapping two thin planks to your feet and sliding down a snowy hill.  Fast enough to make the -10 degree temps feel like-20. If you prefer one wide plank that’s available.  Maybe you prefer strapping blades to your feet so you can slide across ice instead.  Desperately working on keeping your balance well enough to keep your ankles from breaking.  You could always head far enough up North to mount a tobaggan equipped with a high powered engine and really freeze your ass solid.  As appealing as some of those activities may sound to some of you.  They sure as shit aren’t for me.

Indoor Sport

So what’s an athletic guy to do?  I’ve considered joining the red and white GoodLife Fitness gym bag carrying crowd.  Unfortunately I can’t enjoy working out.  Especially when I know that playing a sport achieves similar results.  I have a collapsed arch in my left foot so simply joining an indoor soccer, or basketball team is out of the question.  I could take up swimming, but I’d trust the toxicity levels in Lake Ontario more than a public pool.  I’ve considered many potential activities, but not one fit the bill.  Winter has got me totally euchred.  I spend most of my days  in an area not much larger than a squash court.  I still Golf. Got a quick 18 holes in after Morning Drive yesterday.  Of course that’s 18 Rounds on my single hole putting mat in my living room.  There are times during the year that I look at my PS4 and think what a waste of money.  Well my opinion changes rather quickly as soon as the first snowfall hits.  Hardly a day passes without one of my PS4 controllers requiring a recharge.  I had the unfortunate situation where a label came off one of my blu-rays inside my PS4.  I played digital downloads for a couple days, but missed playing Tom Clancy’s The Division way too much.  So after about a week I broke down, and proceeded to take my PS4 apart to clear the drive.  It wasn’t nearly as difficult as I expected it to be.  Less than an hour later I was back to playing The Division.  Winter can do that.  It can motivate you to try things, or buy things you wouldn’t normally.  This is the weekend before the Superbowl so my favourite spectator sport isn’t available either.  I find myself watching movies galore.  Now I love film so that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  The problem is that I know I’m going to be spending so much time watching movies that I specifically select Trilogies or ongoing series.  I’ve watched the Bourne trilogy, the Millennium trilogy, the first six Star Wars films, the Hobbit trilogy, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, all of the Die Hard films, and I’m four films in to the Harry Potter series.  Can you see how this might be a problem.  Some of those movies I’ve seen so many times that I can quote every key line.  Not a single moment in any of those films surprises me anymore.  I find myself watching what’s going on in the background more.  Hoping to see something I might have missed the first 30 times I watched the movie.  Did you know that Michelle Monaghan was in the Bourne Supremacy?  I didn’t either until I noticed her as an FBI analyst at one of the terminals in the background.  That was the highlight of the film for me.

I’m in the dark here

Yes that was a Scent of a Woman quote, but it’s very relevant during Canadian winters.  If you leave for work before 8:00am, and return home after 5:00pm.  Then there’s a very good chance that you never experienced the light of day.  It was dark when you left, and dark when you returned.  I found myself yawning at 6:48pm last Thursday.  By accident last week my wife and I had dinner twice.  It got dark so early that we mistakenly had dinner at a little before 4:00pm.  By the time 8:00pm came we were hungry again, and realized that sleep might be impossible unless we ate again.

A sudden reprieve

Suddenly without any warning the temperature has been rising the last two days.  It actually got up to +8 degrees today.  Opportunity is knocking, and provided the temperature holds for one more day.  I am going to grab my clubs and make my way out to the Range to do what winter denies me.  Get outside, get some enjoyable exercise, and see the light of day.  If it doesn’t hold, and the winter weather forces me back indoors.  Well I only have to wait a couple more months before the sun begins to shine again.  Until then I have every Marvel movie to watch in chronological order.

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